Chapter 1

Hi, I am Rory Holliday, that is pronounced Roar-Ree and it's Holliday, not Holiday.
I am 31 at the time of this writing and the following are my memoirs and memories.
I just feel like I should write it all down.
Let's start with this.
I don't remember my parents ever being together. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, it just is.
My earliest memories are from when we lived at Parwood Apartments, We moved from there when I was around 7. My earliest memories are of sitting next to the window in our bedroom, watching the rain pour down and puddle up and make bubbles in the puddles. It was serene and nice, I've always liked watching or listening to the rain.
I remember a little bit of other things from then, I remember 2nd grade. Playing with a friend named Wesley, pretending our parents were robots and vampires and adventurous things like that.
I remember being a happy child, having fun and doing the normal childlike things.

I don't remember my parents ever being together, and from what they have slightly mentioned and stated over the years, it is a good thing.
I know my mom did a damn good job raising the 3 of us, my brothers and I, with the help of the rest of the family and friends that surrounded us.
I look back and I remember being happy for the most part.
There were those times that I do remember being down and depressed but that was the side effects of the Ritalin that i was prescribed at 6.
I definitely do not remember much of what it was like before the Ritalin.
Most of my early memories I am not even sure of, I know they happened because the stories have been told and repeated, and we have some pictures so I do get a good idea of what it should have looked like back then. So I wouldn't really say they are my memories as much as Shared Memories.
That's kind of bad when you don't trust your own memories isn't it?
I guess over the years, the lying to myself takes it own toll doesn't it.

I don't know exactly when I started to go wrong.
By "wrong" I mean like, when i started developing the bad habits that normal people do not have.
I know i started shoplifting at an early age, i think i was about 7 or 8 when i took that heart shaped tape measure from a Ralphs grocery store.
The consequences were not horrible, i know i felt shame and remorse a bit, but nothing too bad.
I shoplifted for years afterwards, nothing major, usually just candy or that one shiny thing that caught my eye.
It usually was just because i wanted it, nothing about fucking over the big companies or anything like that. All the justifications i made up later in life for my illicit behaviors were just that, excuses.
I loved that thrill of walking out of a store, knowing that i didn't pay for that item.
That one moment of adrenaline and endorphins.
It was beautiful.
I always tried to find that rush elsewhere.

I know that we had fun as kids, all of us together.
Let me explain that. I keep writing this like we know each other.
My mom raised the three of us: my older brother Ryan, myself, and our little brother Derek.
Ryan and I share a father.
Derek's father beat the shit out of me when I was like 6 so my Mom got rid of him and we haven't seen him since.
Maria. my Mom's best friend, had two sons. Michael and Matthew. Both of whom I still keep in touch, kind of, as of the writing of this.
Cathy McKimpson had two children, Matthew and Danielle.
I am sure there were some more floaters, but for the most part it was the 7 of us growing up together at Parwood apartments.
My mother had the help of her parents and her 4 brothers.
My father had the help of his mom and step dad.

That is the simple way of saying, that's my family.
As far back as I can remember, friends and family had very little difference between them, if you were close enough of a friend you were just part of the family.
I still keep those ideals to this day, in fact some of my friends are closer to me than my family and I like it that way. I honestly wouldn't wish to change it.